Whenever someone tells me that Hollywood is full of jaded, greedy bloodsuckers, or that nobody in the business cares anymore, I always tell them the same story. Because that story involves a certain amount of name-checking, I've avoided putting it in print... until now. At the special request of my producer, this story goes up on my Noah's Ark Blog later today. Since it'll be on the record anyway, I decided to share it here.
Mind you, the only person who really looks bad in this story is me. At the same time, I try not to editorialize on the actions of others. Hollywood is plagued by gossip-mongers. You may have heard.
When I started working with Unified Pictures in an official capacity, we were assisting the production of David Lynch's Inland Empire. David's producer, Jeremy Alter, was also the director of our first feature. Supporting Jeremy was a given, and we were naturally excited to support David.
One afternoon, Keith Kjarval, friend and co-founder of Unified, overheard a conversation. While I don't remember the exact words, it went something like:
I need a monkey, a lumberjack, and a woman with a peg-leg by six o'click tonight! What am I going to do? Will you be my lumberjack?
Jeremy ended up asking Keith to be the lumberjack, as well as to help dredge up production assistants. That's how I wound up on set.
At the end of Inland Empire, there's a credit sequence involving a ball room, Laura Dern and Laura Harring (who wasn't actually in the film) sitting on a park bench, and an assortment of oddities including the aforementioned monkey and the handicapped woman. David was moving though a carefully choreographed sequence of happenings, shooting what was in front of him while people and props were stuck behind his back. The result was a disorienting, continuous take where nothing was where you left it and you were never sure where you were. Very cool.
Because the lumberjack was sawing a log in half in the middle of this ballroom, we had to strike the log, the sawhorses, and sweep away the dust. While this was simple gruntwork, I wasn't willing to turn down the opportunity. It's a David Lynch film, for goddsakes! Those other two guys helping me? They felt the same way.
One of them was Duke Cullen. If you don't know, Duke is one of the co-heads of Make-up and Monsters - one of our industry's leading creature effects houses. At that time, Duke and his partner were in production on Pirates of the Carribean 2. All those starfish people? That's Duke.
Work like that means being the first person on set, and the last person off. Work like that also means a pretty decent paycheck. So why is Duke on the set of a David Lynch film at one in the morning, when he could be in bed?
He loves movies that much. No way was he gonna pass up the opportunity to see David work. Instead of taking a break from what must have been one of the most work-intensive jobs of is life, he was helping me move a log at one in the morning on Friday night... for David Lynch.
Think that's wild? Guess who was sweeping up after us!?!
Mike Mitchell. Look him up. He's the director of Deuce Bigalow, American Gigolo, as well as The New Guy with Eddie Griffin and DJ Qualls. That Friday night was the second weekend of Mike's third film, Sky High. Yep, the superhero high-school movie with Kurt Russell. If you recall, that movie was number one at the box office for two weeks.
At that moment in time, Mike Mitchell was the number one director in America.
This is the part where I admit I'm an elitist. Before meeting him, I was the kind of person who would use Deuce Bigalow as an example of Hollywood's creative bankruptcy. Mind you, I'd never seen the film. I had no idea what I was talking about.
If you told me that the man who directed Deuce Bigalow had produced a blockbuster, I'd immediately imagine some dude in the back of a limo, surrounded by women of the night and piles of blow.
No?
Fine. He's got to be a nine-to-fiver, working to put his kids through school. Right now, he's at home with his family.
No.
He's sweeping the floor on a David Lynch set at one in the morning.
This is his idea of a celebration!
Know what? It's mine, too.
Is there fat and waste in the film industry? Sure. Is there too much middle management? Definitely. Would anyone weep if the number of Hollywood agents and executives were instantly cut in half? Frankly, I'd be curious to see it happen!
At the same time, Mike Mitchell spent the whole night frantically explaining his new pet project to me and Duke, and while I'd be way out of line repeating it here, I can tell you that it was silly and fun. For him, it was something much more. For him, it was art.
While I probably won't rush into theaters for Deuce Bigalow 3, I've become a big believer in Mike Mitchell. I'm a believer in anyone who keeps making movies. You may think they lucked into the gig, or that they're some kind of talentless, dispassionate marketing robot. You're wrong.
Those people don't make movies. On set, it's a different story. In The Real Hollywood, passionate, creative people are banding together to bring their feelings, their ideas, and their stories to the world. In the Real Hollywood, nothing else matters.
I met Mike Mitchell while we were working for David Lynch. Together, we helped make Inland Empire. Think about that.
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